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June 28, 2021

Ever Felt Like You’re Not Enough?

Ever Felt Like You're Not Enough?Have you ever felt like you’re not enough?

I hope this blogpost will help you carve out a moment for you among everything you have going on. Pour yourself a cup of coffee or a glass of wine and treat yourself to settling in.

In a world telling you to be more, do more, balance more, consume more, lose more, achieve more – you have the power to bring the whirlwind of voices to a HALT and learn how to start believing ‘I Am Enough.’

If you have caught your self-esteem rise and fall like a carnival ride, you’re not alone. It’s a journey we all find ourselves on.

We all can do more to start believing ‘I Am Enough.’ It’s a part of the human existence.

Even if we don’t always use the word “enough,” so much of our negative self-talk stems from this one rampant falsehood. You may have felt like you’re not enough, but that lie sounded different than you might expect.

For instance: You might say, “I’ve felt terrible all day.” Why? “Because I’ve been wrestling with my kids over homeschooling.” Why is that bad? “Because it’s a constant struggle, and things are slipping through the cracks.” What does that mean? “I’m not good enough to do this.”  And there it is.

“I feel discouraged because the social media post I poured energy into barely got engagement.” Why does that bother you? “I can’t grow on social media, therefore I’m not enough.”

“I didn’t hear back from that job opportunity, and now I just want to give up.” Why? “Because I’m obviously not good enough to get the job of my dreams.”

I’m not enough. I’m not enough. I’m not enough. That’s what so much comes down to. The bad news? This is more detrimental than we even realize. The good news? We can change it!

Believing “I’m not good enough” is so detrimental because we subconsciously begin to filter everything we do through this lens.

If you have ever felt like you’re not enough, believing that lie ends up directing our life choices, from career and family decisions to what we choose to put on in the morning. We find ourselves either constantly trying to prove ourselves or giving up completely. But that striving? It takes away our power.

If you let “I’m not good enough” direct your choices, then you’ve stopped calling the shots. You are not actively participating in the creation of your own life. Rather, you’re letting external forces and outside opinions dictate what you do and how you do it. You will be running and running, striving for a goal you will never realize.

This reminds me of one of my favorite scenes in one of my favorite movies. Remember when Iris in The Holiday realizes, “You’ve got to be the leading lady of your own life!” We’re about to become the leading ladies right here, right now.

Ever Felt Like You're Not Enough?

If you’ve ever felt like you’re not enough, it’s time to start validating yourself internally so you can finally whisper with courage, “I Am Enough.”

Decide you’re done listening to the lie. We can re-wire our brains to start feeling better by the choosing to believe otherwise. Choices come first. Feelings follow. Not only will you take back your life, but you’re also re-training your body to start feeling feelings such as contentment, confidence, and peace.

Just reach for the next better feeling. If you feel like you’re not enough when you wake, don’t try to obtain Beyoncé-like confidence by the afternoon. Instead, reach for feeling content in who you are. When you have achieved that, reach for gratitude toward one thing you like about yourself. From gratitude, aim for joy, then confidence, then the belief that you are enough.

Identify what is not making you feel good enough and write an affirmation to combat it. Scroll back to the examples of how “I’m not enough” hides behind other feelings. (e.g. Feeling like we’re failing at parenting, work, etc.) Then identify one area (take it one at a time) wherein you feel inadequate. Just as we did at the top, ask yourself “Why is that?” until you reach the root of the problem.

Write an affirmation to combat that root problem. Put that affirmation EVERYWHERE. On your bathroom mirror, on your iPhone wallpaper, say it out loud in the mirror when you wake up. Let that be the voice of truth when the lie “I’m not enough” begins to creep back in.

For example:
I’m not beautiful enough. > My beauty goes beyond the surface level standards of media.

I’m not reaching my dreams fast enough. > I trust the process and variables out of my control as I make myself proud.

I’m not a good enough mom. > I give my all as I love my kids and raise kind people.

Be kind to yourself when the lie creeps back up.

Don’t be hard on yourself, because that will only make things worse. When you hear “I’m not enough,” acknowledge that feeling. Then, peacefully thank your brain for trying to warn you of something; but in this case, it’s wrong.  Finally, repeat your truthful affirmation out loud several times.

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